Friday was cool and cloudy. My fatigue was in control. i slept a lot. I understand that the fatigue is one result of the chemotherapy, and that the purpose is so that I will have healthy, cancer-free days ahead. But I feel sometimes that these are days I am losing. I don't have energy for the projects I usually do in the spring, nor the ones I imagined I would be doing coming out of Covid isolation. Today feels like I am the weakest I have been following the treatments. So I rest, more than I ever have.
I did notice yesterday that the honeysuckle shrub is blooming next to the pool fence. This is not the aromatic honeysuckle vine that will bloom later and carries so many memories of spring in Illinois. Still, the blooms are everywhere announcing warmth. Some day maybe I'll see them and smell them when I am swimming. If I have the energy. Floating in the water wouldn't be bad.